Washington Capitals as Different Kinds of Pizza

Today, we’re going to combine your two favorite things: the Capitals and pizza.

This is a weird one, but it’s vital, I swear. Each and every Capital has their own special thing that makes them who they are. So I took that special thing and use different kinds of pizza to describe it. It’s about to get cheesy in here.

Alex Ovechkin – Pepperoni Pizza: An instant classic. A vintage pie that no matter where you have it, it’s always great. You can never go wrong with this one. It’s definitely going down in the pizza Hall of Fame for sure.

Nicklas Backstrom – Pepperoni and sausage: You can’t go wrong with this one either. A vintage pie with a little more to it. This pie gets passed around the most, and will have all your friends saying “this is Swede!”

T.J. Oshie – Mini Deep Dish: You’d think a small pizza wouldn’t get the job done as well as a bigger pizza, but it truly delivers. This pie fills you up as if it were a large.

Justin Williams – Hawaiian Pizza: This is the pizza that when you see it, you kinda think to yourself that there’s no way it can taste good. Well you’re wrong, it’s really good, and it quickly becomes a favorite in your household unless you like to be boring.

Evgeny Kuznetsov – Meat Lovers Pizza: It’s everything you want in a pie. A vintage classic with everything you could ever want on a pie thrown in there. Certainly an elite pie in it’s own right. This is the pizza that makes you feel great inside just by looking at it.

More from Stars and Sticks

Marcus Johansson – Meatball Pizza: An unusual pie, but a good pie at heart. Not ordered often, but when you do order one it delivers in the best way possible. A true underdog in the pizza world.

Andre Burakovsky – BBQ Chicken Pizza: This is a newer age pizza. It’s pretty good and has a ton of potential. This pizza has a bright future ahead of it and is definitely worth a try.

Jay Beagle – Mac and Cheese Pizza: Mac and cheese and pizza together in one, you know you love it. A true secret weapon in the pizza world, it shows signs of brilliance by combining two great things. This pie can do just about anything. Order this.

Brooks Laich – Leftover Pizza: It’s still the same pizza you had last night, but just cold. It’s not as good as it was fresh, but it’s still pizza and you love it regardless.

Tom Wilson – Buffalo Chicken Pizza: Oh yeah, a real tough pie, only for the brave. It’s got the kick that pizza has needed for a while now. Always delivers, but not for the faint of heart. A hot pie indeed.

Brooks Orpik – Vegan Pizza: Tough to eat for most pizza lovers, but it’s good and healthy for you and that’s what matters at the end of the day. All in all a pretty bland pie with not a lot of flavor to it.

Karl Alzner – Cheese Pizza: A very bland pie but it’s always been there for you when you don’t know where else to turn. Not much to it other than cheese and sauce, but you love it nonetheless.

John Carlson – Cheeseburger Pizza: A very American spin on pizza. It’s good, but you can’t put ketchup and mustard on this one. Every bite you take cause a bald eagle to soar through a sky filled with red, white, and blue fireworks while the National Anthem is played on guitar. Eat this while holding sparklers.

Braden Holtby – Meat Lovers Deep Dish Pizza: The best pizza money can buy. It’s everything you want in a pie and it’s a deep dish. Every slice is great and it’s always a safe bet when it comes to pizza. You can even have it the next day and it will still be just as good as the night before. A sassy pie in it’s own right, but a solid pie as well.

I know there’s more Capitals than the ones listed, but they haven’t earned their pizza yet. Jason Chimera is a microwavable pie because it’s quick and easy to make but it gets old fast.

Thank you for reading what will most likely go down in Stars and Sticks history as the weirdest article ever written. Go get some pizza, you know you want some.